An Inconvenient Massage

I'm sure you all are aware of Al Gore's "incident" when he came to Portland. I'm hear to clear up some rumors. First of all, he is no poodle my friends, that I assure you. (check out the full story here)

It all started when he came into my massage parlor. This one is a far cry from the one I worked at in Thailand as a young pup. We have different rules here in the States. I wooed him with my dew claw shiatsu. He wooed me with his talk of global warming and his invention of the interwebs.

He just couldn’t resist my womanly charms.

It was a one time fling and I hope Tipper forgives him for his transgressions.

The water was nice and cool on my dainty paws.


The tide came in pretty quickly so I had to channel my inner seal and get to the shore.


With all of the wind, my ears resembled little velveteen kites.


I got to frolic with my long-nose boyfriend.


And supervise the hairless boy child while he made a sandcastle. I had to make sure it was structurally sound and up to code.


Exfoliating with sand did wonders for my complexion. I think I came back with one less wrinkle. Can you tell?


Mother said the man in the red truck was going to be my new daddy..he just doesn't know it yet..


After a long day of fun we packed up our stuff, washed the sand off our paws, and headed home.

Hot Hot Hot

Apparently Mother has been doing more online shopping.


Wonder what this could be?


Whatever it is, it must be good if there's a picture of the most attractive animal alive on the outside.


Oooooh! A nice cool bed! My naughty bits are getting a tad chilly.


Perhaps my new swim attire will fix that.


Hope everyone is finding their own way to stay cool. It's 103 here and I just saw a guy in Subway sandwich costume. I don't know how he is still standing!

Doggie Dash 2009

Stella here. They called it a dash, but it was more of a stroll. Being the puganthropic girl that I am, I helped raise money for homeless dogs at the Humane Society.

There were lots of people, treats, and dogs.

Sweet mother of...is that a horse?

My friend Maggie May investigated.

Once he met her approval, he was allowed into our posse.

Mom, can we keep him? He could be my personal mode of transportation.

He must think he's a lap horse.

Mom was worried when she saw the tough looking pit bulls, but they were really nice. We smooched a little and it turns out they had two pug brothers!

Archie, my love? Is that you? Nope. Not him.

So, um, I'm gonna go home with them? That ok mom?

The people that we brought with us.

Maggie

Nemo

Yours truly

I Would Like to Go on Record...

...that I had NOTHING to do with this.

Nothing at all...

The Big Day

I apologize for my delay in posting about last week's events. I had to deal with a PR nightmare that came about after an altercation involving Urethra Franklin and myself. Imagine my surprise when I showed up for my inauguration only to see Ms. Franklin wearing MY hat. I did what any self-respecting pug would do, I relieved my self on her Jimmy Choos.


The highlight of the day was the inaugural parade.

The swearing-in ceremony was flawless, as was my QVC special-order bubblegum pink wig.

I thank all those who inked their paws and voted for me. Change is now. Pugspeed.

Inaugural Preparations

I've been working on my float for the parade and I'm up to my orbs in colored tissue paper and glitter. I just spent a relaxing evening with Urethra Franklin last night. Tomorrow she will be singing charming renditions of Respug, Son of a Preacher Pug, and A Wrinkly Woman (You Make Me Feel Like). In my honor, of course. My Secret Service pugs have been briefed and armed with government issued retractable wrinkle shanks. As for my wardrobe, that will be a surprise.

A One-Pug Iditarod

Dimwitted Mother decided I should go potty on the deck so she wouldn't have to bundle up.

Surely you can't expect me to go when the snow is higher than my naughty bits.

Once safely inside, I unleashed a well deserved verbal assault on Mother.

She then wised up and took me out to a proper potty area where I caught a few flakes on my tongue.

The next morning, I stored some trailmix in my wrinkle and headed out for a one-pug Iditarod.

I used my dainty starfish paws and large talons to maneuver on the ice.

The ice was no match for mother's large paws.

My paws started to get chilly so I took turns placing them on Mother's boot.

Icebergs!

I wanted to re-create the sinking of the Titanic, but Mother and I fought over who got to be Rose.

There's Snow in My Wrinkle, Dear Liza Dear Liza

Mother strapped my smart coat on me and we went on an adventure.

I did a celebratory tuck-and-run to appease the snow Gods.

Writing my name in the snow.

An artsty B&W for my modeling portfolio. Call me if you want to book me, I don't do topless.

Brrrr.

Mother, if you don't let me in I fear I will become a Pugscicle.

Seriously, put down the damn camera and open the door.

Secret Santa Paws

Look what the mailman brought me.

I did the ceremonial tuck-and-run before opening it.

Ooooh...gifties!

I got a super cute picture of my new friends down in California posing with the gifties before sending them.
The goodies. Surely they are all for me and not mother.

Don't mind if I do..

Opening prezzies is hard work.

Good thing mother hasn't cut my nails lately.
The next spokespug for Buddy Biscuits.
I will be the envy of the dog park in my new scarf and shirt (it says "You Had Me at Woof").

Oooh, this one makes noise. I hope it's a cat.

Not a cat, but very fun!

All of our gifties. Thanks, Santa!